(my street before the snow began to fall)

I cannot tell you how nice it is to be living somewhat on my own again. Although I share a room with Erica and Marissa, I can finally breath. My host family in Zagreb was in many ways a blessing, but at the end of the day, I need permission be an adult, and living with a family was like regressing to highschool. I can only handle so many “where are you goings,” “when will you be homes,” and “you need to eat mores.”

I am fortunate to have a nook in our cave of a room crammed in the corner behind my bed and right below the black light (which the hostel owner said is not for “sexy time” but to illuminate the room without waking everyone up). My nook consists of a tiny table with a tiny chair and a tiny window through which I am watching HUGE SNOWFLAKES fall! The snow in Serbia is more accurately categorized as snowballs, since they are so large one feels they must dodge them when walking outside. I am beginning to understand why everyone here uses umbrellas in the snow. This however, is apparently an exciting winter to be in Serbia. The other day, we went to visit the friend of one of my roommates, who while from Colorado is teaching English here. Over tea she relayed to us that this is the first winter that there is an availability of fruits and vegetables other than cabbage. What she failed to mention is that the all other fruits and vegetables are unaffordable…needless to be said, I have been eating a lot of cabbage

My creative juices are drained right now. While I want to blog, I feel like I am in a million places and I am just producing word vomit. I was so stressed yesterday I had to call home to get reassurance from Dad. I have been selected by Denison to apply for the Truman scholarship but this is in addition to the Davidson Peace Projects and the position of senior interviewer. Ultimately, this means that on top of my 40-50 page research project I am working on three extensive applications and trying to maintain my sanity. I know I should not be complaining because I am stressed by an abundance of wonderful opportunities, but at the end of the day, stress is stress. Good stress or bad, it makes it hard to sleep, focus, and feel confident in the work I am producing.

On a lighter note, a new girl is working at our hostel today, and I must say she is something else. She told us to avoid Serbian men because they are all like “Tarzan.” They will walk up to a woman and say “you are now mine.” Haha…We then began to speak of politics and the conversation came to Hillary Clinton, who the hostel keeper also compared to Tarzan, so now I am a little confused about her conception of this word.

Tomorrow the real work begins. I have declared the last several days to be the transition period, but tomorrow I conduct interviews with three activists and begin to construct the outline of my paper. I pray for the strength to do all of this, because I am very tired. I think that this semester need not be as intense as I am making it, but I have issues with allowing myself permission to produce mediocre work. Someday I would like to think I will learn to give myself a break.